Such an ominous title. Luckily, it just means that I didn’t post for quite a while. I have been happily divorced for over a year. But, don’t worry, Scott has already remarried. That would be his fourth marriage. (Can you hear the sarcasm in my voice?) I was hesitant to post before the divorce was final for fear he would use my words against me in front of a judge or during mediation.

I believe that stress was a one of the causes of my cancer. Both my job and my marriage were extremely stressful. I was constantly worried I was going to lose my job. This was due to the fact that I can be very opinionated sometimes and sometimes my opinions aren’t welcome. I stayed there for about five and a half years. During the same time, Scott was constantly threatening to divorce me. I previously posted about my current job which I still love. I also posted about Scott moving out and taking Marissa with him. I was not able to get Marissa back during the mediation. Learn from my mistake – if you EVER find yourself in such a situation, please don’t let your children leave no matter how sick and weak you are. As my legal counsel said, by letting her move out, I set a precedence for how things would be going forward. This was a terrible, terrible mistake.

So, what have I been up to in regards to my cancer treatments. Here are some events that happened that I thought might want to know about.

• For about half of 2015, I juiced or blended every morning. I took colloidal silver several times per year. I also took turmeric, B complex,  D3, Fulvic Acid, etc, etc, etc.
• I had my amalgam fillings removed and replaced.
• I had surgery on my other breast to even things out.
• I began getting debilitating migraines which I still suffer from.
• I switched from one aromatase inhibitor to another and received shots in my belly for two years to keep me in menopause. (This was in an effort to rid myself of the migraines. The only change was that I quit throwing up in unexpected places – sorry neighbors, coworkers and friends.)
• Had a brain MRI to rule out brain cancer (December 2015). Passed with flying colors!! And no signs of dementia or altzheimer’s. (This gave me peace of mind since Scott was trying to convince me that I couldn’t remember anything and that I was going crazy. This is called Gaslighting. Look it up. It’s very interesting.)
• Worked with a physical therapist for about four months for the migraines.
• Was given an antidepressant to cope with the hot flashes (yes, it works ladies).
• I was diagnosed with osteoporosis (October 2016).
• Changed my ongoing treatment medication from the aromatase inhibitor to Tamoxifen (December 2016). Yay – no more pellet shots in my belly. The change was due to the osteoporosis diagnosis. According to my oncologist, I have the bones of a 90-year-old and I could crumble. But, I think he was exaggerating. Based on my research, I probably have the bones of an 80-year-old. (LOL) But, seriously, the likelihood that I will break a major bone in the next six years is great. Check out the FRAX app and enter your bone density numbers to see when you could break a hip.
• I have been seeing a neurologist for over a year. He has finally convinced me to quit drinking Diet Coke for good (which were widely available during my chemo treatments although sometimes warm). Diet Coke adversely affects bones and could contribute to migraines. I had been trying to give it up for years. My neurologist gave me a combo of prescriptions that helped me get through the withdrawals.
• I started taking another antidepressant to block the migraines. I’m not convinced that that one is working. I have to take that one at night and the other in the morning. However, I am no longer taking the one for hot flashes. This is mostly because I would forget to take them in the morning. If you are not aware of how antidepressants work, they usually take six weeks to work. So, if you miss some days (or week’s), it’s probably not working correctly.
•  Declined the osteoporosis shot my oncologist wanted to give me. (More on this another time.)
•  My diet, while not exactly where I want it to be (pure raw plant based – think Chris Wark), it is significantly better than it was before my cancer diagnosis. In addition to giving up Diet Coke, I focus on making better food choices each and every time. I no longer need chocolate every day. I eat a lot of fruit and veggies. I drink lemon water and  then my Garden of Life green drink most mornings.
• I meditate most evenings with my kiddos although Ethan tries to rebel against it. I recommend the Calm app.

The last two years have had many ups and downs but I am happier and less stressed.